Naked Religious Chicks

Commissioned · Greater Fenland Canine Welfare Trust (Volunteer Wing)

The Cardigan Cannot Be Removed Until Insurance Confirms

Amira has coordinated the Trust's rehoming intake for eleven years. In March, the Volunteer Standards Committee introduced a Handling Attire Schedule requiring all long-sleeved outer garments in kennel corridors, pending a review of scratch-related claims. Amira submitted a request to remove her cardigan indoors. The request was acknowledged, forwarded to the Trust's insurers, and returned with a query about whether the corridor constitutes a kennel corridor. The query has been outstanding since April. Your donation funds the clarification process. Amira remains in the cardigan, holding the intake clipboard, as required.

“I asked what counts as a corridor. They said they would come back to me.”— Amira
Amira, photographed in A charcoal-flecked indigo cardigan buttoned to the collar, sleeves down as per Schedule 4, with a laminated intake clipboard and a whistle…. No further photographs exist.

The Modesty Meter

Every gift brings us closer to nothing at all.

  • $25Funds a photocopy of the corridor floor plan for the insurer's file.
  • $90Pays for a measuring wheel to establish the corridor's length to the insurer's satisfaction.
  • $400Commissions a second opinion on whether the first opinion was about the right corridor.
  • $1,500Books a meeting room for the review that will be postponed to accommodate the vaccination audit.
  • $6,000Endows a laminated sign reading CORRIDOR, which the insurer has confirmed is not binding.
$47
raised of $6,000 · 0.7833%
Buy us lunch

Institutional assurances

Fund designation
Amira Cardigan Schedule Clarification Fund
Verified impact
To date: one site plan commissioned, one corridor measured, no garments adjusted.
Measurement basis
Modesty Standard v1.0

This appeal was commissioned by a visitor and written on demand. It was not drawn up by us, it is not one of the 22 standing appeals, and it is every bit as unlikely to succeed.

Specifications

Scripture
Handling Attire Schedule, Section 4(b): sleeves shall remain extended in all areas…
Coverage
100%
Layers
Three, all documented.
Garments removed to date
0
Represented by
Volunteer Standards Committee, which meets quarterly and has not reached item nine.
Takes offence at
Nothing in particular
Status
Awaiting insurer clarification (fourth month).

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